Walking with the Wise #197: The Power of a Soft Answer

“A soft answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
—Proverbs 15:1

I have a confession to make. I get angry.  Every once in a while my fuse burns hot and I get frustrated and yell at my kids or my wife. Fortunately, God has given me a strong woman equal to the task. My wife doesn’t respond with a loud voice whenever I’m mad, or accusing her of something, or imputing her motives. She responds calmly and quietly. More often than not that is all that is needed and I calm down quickly, admit my mistake, apologize for getting angry and then ask for her forgiveness.  Her godly responses have enabled me to control my anger so that my anger doesn't control me.

I thank God for her and how she has put into practice the words of this proverb. She will tell you that she has not always been like that. When she was younger she expressed her anger or frustration in much different and destructive ways, but as she has matured in her Christian walk, she has learned to control herself, especially when others attempt to accuse or impute wrong motives to her.

Blowing out, drowning, or cutting off all oxygen extinguishes a stick of dynamite, and a soft answer does the same thing to hotheads. Harsh words only enable the wick to burn faster, like gas on a fire, but a soft answer confronts the hothead with calm and peace, removing any room for the wrath to burn on.

May the Lord our God enable us to exercise self-control, grant us discernment, patience, steadfastness, and gentleness that we may truly exhibit the person of Christ in our responses to accusations and threats so that God may be seen in us for His glory and our joy. Amen.