Walking with the Wise #271: True vs. Divisive Friendship

“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.”
—Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)

Today’s proverb contrasts true friends with those who are divisive. True friends are those who know our faults and love us in spite of them. They are not easily offended and can overlook our personality quirks and idiosyncrasies, even if we have been offensive and hurt them in one way or another. Not that they don’t confront or talk to us about them; they will and do, but they are able to see past them to the heart of who we are—knowing that we are in process and God is working in and on us. Friendships like that are extremely valuable—gifts from the hand of God—and should be cherished with the utmost gratitude and treated with supreme respect.

On the opposing side of true friendship stand those who are divisive. These so-called friends hone in on our faults, refusing to overlook them and use whatever hurts we may have caused as ammunition against us whenever there is the slightest bit of conflict, constantly reminding us of where we have failed and how we have hurt them.

As Christians we must recognize the difference between true and divisive friends. Such recognition will serve as a preventive barrier, delivering us from a great deal of hurt, confusion, and emotional fallout. Identifying the difference between the two, we now know what to emulate and what to avoid—being careful with every friendship God has entrusted to our care.

Cherish the true friendships you have and be the friend God wants you to be! Don’t let past hurts interfere with your present friendships. Forgive as God has forgiven you (cf. Colossians 3:13) and glorify God for the process He has you in—for His glory and your joy. Amen.