Fighting the Flesh #22: Submit to Your Own Husband

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”—Colossians 3:18

If you are a wife, are you submissive to your husband? Perhaps one of the most controversial aspects of the Christian life in America is the idea of the submissive wife. But, it is a very clear Scriptural principle (see Ephesians 5:22, 24; Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:5; 1 Peter 3:1-7). The question must be, why? Why would God do that?

It is apparent from Scripture that God created men and women (Genesis 1:26-27; 2:18-25). But He made both to be distinct and different. Men are called to lead the home, while women are to primarily devote themselves to their husbands and family, and unfortunately, our world is at war with both of these ideas. Yet, Scripture is not like many contemporary theories and ideas, popular for a time, but fleeting. Scripture will endure forever—as Peter wrote when quoting the prophet Isaiah,

"All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever”

—1 Peter 1:23-25 (cf. Isaiah 40:8).

The Word of God will endure forever, as Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away”—Matthew 24:35. The Scripture has contained within it, the paths of life, a manual for living, and God’s plan of salvation (Acts 2:28, 2 Timothy 3:16-17). It is when we seek to understand and apply such truths that we discover the joy of fulfilling God’s purposes for us. And this can be clearly seen in the roles God has created for men and women. God made and ordained men to be the leaders of the home and in the church. Paul wrote about this in his first letter to Timothy,

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor”—1 Timothy 2:11-14.

Several years ago, some Christian men and women came together to form a document that would explain and clarify, from a biblical standpoint, the biblical roles for both men and women. The fruit of that meeting came to be known as The Danvers Statement. They wrote,

“The Fall introduced distortions into the relationships between men and women (Gen 3:1-7, 12, 16).

In the home, the husband's loving, humble headship tends to be replaced by domination or passivity; the wife's intelligent, willing submission tends to be replaced by usurpation or servility.

In the church, sin inclines men toward a worldly love of power or an abdication of spiritual responsibility, and inclines women to resist limitations on their roles or to neglect the use of their gifts in appropriate ministries.

In the family, husbands should forsake harsh or selfish leadership and grow in love and care for their wives; wives should forsake resistance to their husbands' authority and grow in willing, joyful submission to their husbands' leadership (Eph 5:21-33; Col 3:18-19; Tit 2:3-5; 1 Pet 3:1-7)”—The Danvers Statement

When women submit to their husbands, there is joy, because there is an order of authority being lived out—God, Christ, man, and woman. Paul wrote about this in his description of head coverings in 1 Corinthians 11,

“For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels”—1 Corinthians 11:7-10.

When women embrace their God-given, and God-ordained role, they are proclaiming by their action that God’s Word is true and He is sovereign over the universe. Imagine a symphony for a moment, not every instrument can play whatever part they want. The composer wrote pieces for each section and then for individual instruments within that section. If, for a moment, the cellist decides to play the timpani part or the tuba wants to play the flute part—such a thought would result in disaster and the song would fail. Composers orchestrate their pieces to build upon one another so that they come together in greater harmony and the music is played and heard in all of its beauty and simplicity. Without each instrument playing their assigned piece, musical chaos would ensue and the performance would be a disaster.

The same is true in the realm of relationships. God is the composer, and He is the conductor. He has written out the parts men and women are to play and for us to seek to play something else—not only is it a giant slap in God’s face, but it destroys the song.

When wives submit to their husbands, God receives glory, because it is through their submission that the song of God’s creative order is not only played, but also heard. Unbelievers notice when a husband and wife are both performing their parts in the song of sanctification, embracing the roles they have been given. The sweet song of submission is the melodic line of God’s glory and sovereignty being played out in married life. And not only do outsiders notice, but the angels in heaven do as well, as they hear the song being played in purity and simplicity as husbands and wives embrace the roles God has laid out in His Word.

Being submissive to your husband is not discounting your rights, or making you less of a person. But, it is an act of obedience, which fully trusts the way God has orchestrated the world. It’s not to make your life harder, but more blessed.

Are you submissive to your husband? Are you doing what God has commanded you? Are you playing the part that God has designed? Or are you trying to create your own melodic line apart from what God has set forth as what is best? Do you recognize that by submitting to your husband you are honoring God? And to not submit is dishonoring not only your husband, but also the God of the universe? Don’t you realize that to submit is to increase one’s joy?

May we all seek to humbly come to the Scriptures, studying the truth therein so that we might apply it to our lives, growing in holiness and joy through obedience to God’s decrees, fulfilling our destiny. Amen.