Fighting the Flesh #21: Respect Your Husband

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband”—Ephesians 5:33

God desires that men love their wives and wives respect their husbands. Both men and women need love, but women find more of their identity in their love relationship with their husband, while men find more of their identity in the respect they receive from their wives. Which is the exact thought Paul communicated to the Ephesians. He wanted the men to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and to love their wives as they love and care for themselves (Ephesians 5:25-33). But, the women also have a responsibility—to respect their husbands. “Respect” means that she must recognize the God-given authority bestowed upon him and then submit to it. As Paul wrote,

“Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor”—1 Timothy 2:11-14.

Before there is submission there must be recognition and in the instance of marriage that recognition is in the God-ordained roles of husband and wife. We must have this recognition occur because these roles do not merely serve a sociological function within contemporary society, but are part of God’s created order.

The idea of giving respect because of obligation is antithetical to this world’s values. This world wants respect to be earned, as it well should be in most instances. Respect is earned in the realm of business, athletics, or certain accomplishments. But not in this instance—here it results from recognition of what God has established. The husband doesn’t receive respect because of what he has accomplished, but because of who God has made him to be.

As believers, we must make every effort to seek and understand the purpose for which God made us, and how we might fulfill that purpose within the means God has established. This includes our roles and relationships. Men, love your wives, not in a domineering or tyrannical fashion, but as Christ loved the church—sacrificially giving Himself in humility and love. And ladies, respect your husbands, recognizing the God-given and established authority inherent within him. And once we do, we will discover joy and freedom within what God has established. Amen.