Walking with the Wise #512: The Choice Is Yours

“A quarrelsome wife is as annoying

as constant dripping on a rainy day.

Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind

or trying to hold something with greased hands.”

—Proverbs 27:15-16 (NLT)

Marriage isn’t easy and requires a great deal of work—ask anyone who is married! Knowing how difficult it can be makes the selection of a mate all the more important. Choosing a mate is not easy, simply because you don’t know who the person really is—we may think we know, but we really don’t. How does he/she act during stressful times of life? How does he/she communicate? What examples have they had in marriage to emulate? Do you have the same hopes? Dreams? What about having a family? Where will you live? Who will work—one of you or both? How do you plan on educating your children? How do you spend your money? Are you a saver or a spender? What about them? Is he/she a saver or spender? Who is going to do the laundry? What about the cooking? How will you discipline your kids? These are just some of the many questions that must be asked in a marriage.

Choosing the right mate becomes paramount, because the right choice will make the marriage less tough and less stressful. While today’s passage addresses what it's like to live with a difficult wife who is argumentative and a nag, the point the author wants us to understand is that marrying a quarrelsome person is going to make life more laborious than we could ever imagine (Proverbs 26:21), so don’t do it. Find someone else. Don’t think that you can change them—you can’t. Only God can do that, so it’s best not to try. Recognize them for who they are, and understand that person is not the best person God has for you.

If you find yourself married to someone like the author describes, it is best to love, listen, and learn how to communicate with them. The marriage may not have been God’s best, but He allowed it to occur, so don’t divorce; put that thought out of your mind. Instead, realize that this may be God’s way of honing and refining you so that His glory and power might be displayed in your life. Trust in Him, follow the Bible’s instructions for how to be a good husband and a good wife, and then wait on the Lord to do only what He can do—transform your spouse into the image of His Son. Amen.