Walking with the Wise #505: Not Greener

“Like a bird that strays from its nest
is a man who strays from his home.”
—Proverbs 27:8

Contrary to popular belief, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Being satisfied in what you have—in what God has given and what you have earned through the proper stewardship of what He has given is where peace and contentment lie. Our world is never satisfied and always craves more and more—more money, power, success, comfort, etc. Following such a course of life only ends in pain and destruction. A man straying from his home and family, trying to find satisfaction somewhere else, will only lead to pain. Like a bird, he is cut off from safety, security, and that which is true and abiding.

The pressures and storms of life have a way of sweeping people away if they are not properly grounded. I have seen too many couples swept away by such storms. One of the spouses, after they have their children, starts to wonder if life passed them by, as if they missed something, and then foolishly starts to believe that they are missing something. So they begin to leave the house, hanging out in places where they shouldn’t, engaging in conversation with those they shouldn’t, forgetting where their fidelity and true satisfaction lies. The painful result is that they leave their home for a fleeting pleasure, not understanding that they are tearing their family asunder in the process—scarring their children horrifically, never to recover the admiration of their child, permanently losing the trust of a mate. Only by God’s grace and painful restoration can such a relationship be mended—and that only after repentance has been wrought in the wayward spouse’s heart.

The solution is prevention through concentration, identification of the enemy’s lies, and cultivating satisfaction through an act of the will—coupled with an awareness of what will inevitably happen if such sinful pleasures are pursued, which shatters the illusion of sin that baits the tempter’s hook.

The proverbs are constant reminders of the dangers of giving into such temptation,

“Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished.
People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house.
He who commits adultery lacks sense;
he who does it destroys himself.
He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge.
He will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts.”
—Proverbs 6:27-35.

Such warnings are meant to help us avoid the dangerous pains of adultery, while we are encouraged to,

“Drink water from your own cistern,
flowing water from your own well.
Should your springs be scattered abroad,
streams of water in the streets?
Let them be for yourself alone,
and not for strangers with you.
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love”
—Proverbs 5:15-19.

Finding satisfaction in what we have means realizing that the good and peace we so desperately need is already there with us. Relationships have cycles, to be sure, but all relationships must be cultivated and nourished with communication, authenticity, forgiveness, compassion, and a willing heart. Tough times are bound to come, but they are not meant to be break relationships apart, no more than a ship on the high seas in a storm will be able to weather it by splitting into two. The ship must stay in one piece to survive such storms, so too must a couple stay together.

Fight against the flesh, expose the lies of the devil, and be satisfied in your spouse—it will lead to safety and security from the Savior. Amen.