Walking with the Wise #117: Approval Addicts

“Better to be lowly and have a servant

than to play the great man and lack bread.” 

—Proverbs 12:9 

There was a commercial several years ago that carried the tagline, “Image is everything.” And for many that’s terribly and sadly true. We have to face facts—we truly care about what people think about us—too much. We portray ourselves as having it all together, but the sad fact is that we are all junior high kids, sitting around the cafeteria table at lunchtime. We are approval addicts and so badly want to be accepted, to be validated, that we will do anything to get it. And our approval addiction is not a modern invention—to be sure, it comes from ancient times.

Even Solomon understood its seductive power. He wrote that it was better to be lowly—i.e., poor and marginalized from society’s standpoint, but still have a servant (which shows that there is some measure of wealth), rather than pretending to be something we are not—and not even have food to eat. One is about status and the other is about sustenance. Let your desire for status rule your life and you will suffer for it. But, be secure in who you are as a person, and God will satisfy your needs.

How many of us need to take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves the question, how much do I care what others think about me? What am I doing in my life that makes me look better than I am? What do I need to do to satisfy my deep desire for security and significance? What pride do I have to jettison?

Our number 1 priority must be our relationship with God. Until we find our security and significance in Him and in Him alone we will be caught up trying to feed our approval addiction. The only approval that we ultimately need is from Jesus our Savior. He is the one who died for us when we were naked in our humanity—adrift at sea in sin and self. He is the only one who died for us, and He is the only one who can help us be who He has made us to be.

May the Lord our God, who brought Jesus back from the dead, enable us to humble ourselves, and help us to eliminate our need for the approval of men. May He give us His approval and may our lives exude His love and passion as we live lives of purpose—to give Him glory. Amen.