Walking with the Wise #45: Conflict and Chaos

“Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,

and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;

reprove a wise man, and he will love you.

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”

—Proverbs 9:7-9

Conflict is inevitable in life. And being a Christian doesn’t necessarily mean there is going to be less conflict but more. As Jesus said,

“For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law”—Matthew 10:35.

When a person decides to follow Christ, he or she wants to apply God’s Word to all aspects of life because,

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work”—2 Timothy 3:16-17.

Whenever we try to live for God and proclaim His Word, we will face conflict—both with believers and unbelievers. We expect to have conflict with unbelievers, but some of the most painful conflict comes from our interactions with believers. Why? Because believers have a tendency to think that their way is God’s way and defend themselves accordingly. I like to call these “religious men.” They may be well-meaning believers who have confessed Christ, but they live as legalistic Pharisees who care more about outward conformity than they do about inner transformation.

Religious men can be extremely difficult to work with. As C.S. Lewis described it, “Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst." What he means is that religious men can be very difficult to work with because religious men have a tendency to make everything a “spiritual issue.” They adopt a language of martyrdom, whereby they become God’s greatest heroes, champions, and enforcers, or at least in their mind. They always see themselves on God’s side, as His defenders, but what they are really defending is not God, but a false god of their own creation.

Religious men, in their zeal, attempt to make others conform to what they believe is true about God, rather than proclaim God’s truth and let God bring conviction to others by His Spirit.

Religious men can behave as fools, and in their zealous pharisaic pride will scoff at those deemed less godly. We must remember that Jesus reserved some of His fiercest words for religious men such as the Pharisees and scribes (cf. Matthew 23:1-29). And in one of His most memorable parables, the Parable of the Prodigal Son, it was the self-righteous son that proves to be worse than the prodigal (cf. Luke 15:25-32).

We must be careful in how we interact with the godly and the ungodly, the religious and non-religious. Solomon understood that conflict was inevitable, but he wisely knew that some types of conflict could be avoided if we examined the situation carefully before speaking. He knew that if we rebuke a scoffer we would be verbally and perhaps physically abused. Why? Because the scoffer has no intention of changing his ways, and his pride dictates that he is not wrong. He will stand for himself in the face of rebuke, refusing to humble himself in order that he might be corrected so he will be able to live rightly. He has made up his mind on which side he wants to fight, and anyone who stands against him will receive his wrath. He will hate anyone who attempts to correct him.

However, a wise man, one who is truly seeking God’s will, will love the one who is rebuking him, because he knows that it will make him better. He will become wiser and will be able to help others more effectively.

As we seek to walk with the wise, we must make sure that we have a humble disposition that is ready to learn from others, and ready to listen when conflict rears its ugly head. Our goal must not be to defend ourselves, but Christ. Pride is a nasty thing that can sully the best of relationships. And it is one of the easiest sins to camouflage with godly language and demeanor, but it must be revealed for what it is—a grievous sin in the sight of God. We must make sure that we don’t try to masquerade pride as godliness, nor adopt pseudo-spiritual language in order to get our own fleshly ways. We must forsake the misdeeds of darkness, speaking the truth in love for the glory of God, not ours.

May God enable us to navigate the chaotic conflict in which we sometimes find ourselves. May He be a lighthouse of hope that warns us against the shallow waters of sin and self. May our attitude be that of Christ Jesus, our Savior, who modeled for us perfectly how to live in the midst of a sinful world fraught with danger and difficulties at every corner. And may we abandon any and all of our religious language that attempts to legalistically conform others to our way of life rather than God’s. And may the Lord our God, who loved us enough to send us His Son, have His Son grow up in us so that we may shed hypocritical sanctimony and live authentic lives transformed by the wondrous grace of Almighty God. Amen.