Walking with the Wise #41: Seductive Speech

“Say to wisdom, ‘You are my sister,’

and call insight your intimate friend,

to keep you from the forbidden woman,

from the adulteress with her smooth words.”

—Proverbs 7:4-5

Words are powerful. They can give life or they can kill, they can warm the heart or break it. Solomon knew the power of words when he wrote, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body”—Proverbs 16:24.

And while words have the power to give life and health, they also have the power to destroy life. Indeed, the tongue is a more powerful weapon than anything ever constructed by man.  James knew its horrific potential:  

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison”—James 3:5-8.

The poison and power of the tongue is seen in the seductive speech of the adulterous woman in today’s proverb. Solomon warns his symbolic son (cf. Proverbs 7:1) to make sure that he is living and acting wisely, because wisdom will help guard him from the alluring speech of the forbidden woman.

Affairs rarely begin with both parties deciding to have an affair. It usually begins innocently through conversation. Marriage is to be a shared relationship, a place where both the husband and wife are “naked and not ashamed.” It is not just in the sexual relationship either, but in the sharing of life—where hopes, dreams, pains, problems, joys, and sorrows are shared. An affair usually happens when the husband or the wife goes outside of the marriage to find an emotional (and sometimes physical) connection. The spark of an affair starts in the conversation as the man or the woman begins sharing details of life that are only meant to be shared with one's spouse. The depth and intimacy of the conversation escalates, feelings are shared, and then bodies follow. Solomon warns against this practice by telling his son to make sure he walks wisely and thinks about what is happening around him. Wisdom helps him to understand how to guard himself from an affair by watching what he says and to whom he says it. He must guard himself from an affair by sharing intimate conversation with his wife and no one else.

Unfortunately, affairs are becoming increasingly common in our world today, but as Christians we must endeavor to guard against them, to find delight in our own spouse, and not in the conversation or arms of another, as the author of Hebrews wrote:

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous”—Hebrews 13:4.

We must learn to apply the words of the apostle Paul who wrote,

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you”—1 Thessalonians 4:3-8.

Guard your heart, ears, eyes and tongue from embarking on a journey that only ends in sin, sorrow and suffering. Cultivate your marriage (if you are married), or put the proper parameters in place if you are single, in order that God may be glorified in how you control your body in holiness and honor. And may God be praised because of it. Amen.