Walking with the Wise #6: The Forbidden Woman

“So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman,
 

from the adulteress with her smooth words,

who forsakes the companion of her youth
 

and forgets the covenant of her God;
for her house sinks down to death,

and her paths to the departed;

none who go to her come back,

nor do they regain the paths of life.”

—Proverbs 2:16-19

The forbidden woman. How many men have been seduced, trapped and destroyed by her?! How many marriages have been wrecked? How many families have been destroyed? How many tears have been shed over this woman? She destroys lives—not only hers, but all those who give in to her seductions.

How does she operate? Notice that it begins with her speech. She says what a man wants to hear. She caters to him, flirts with him, making him think that he is special, and that he is the one in control. But she goes further. She knows of her commitment to her husband, the “companion of her youth.” She is a partner with him by covenant (cf. Malachi 2:14)—a covenant made before God. But she chooses to leave him behind—she wants something else. She disregards her marriage vows before God.

When we give in to our fallen desires, we deceive ourselves, telling ourselves that God is keeping something good from us, rationalizing our choice, while attempting to excuse our sin. Sin never affects just us—there is always collateral damage. And the collateral damage for the forbidden woman is all of those who give in to her subtle seduction. The consequence is death. We are destroyed spiritually and at times physically. Spiritually we are destroyed—our testimonies are wrecked, the confidence of those closest to us is shattered, and the name of Christ is impugned. But there may well be physical consequences as well, because “love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave”—Song of Solomon 8:6. Solomon wrote about some of the consequences of adultery:

“Can a man carry fire next to his chest
 

and his clothes not be burned? 


Or can one walk on hot coals
 

and his feet not be scorched?
 

So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
 

none who touches her will go unpunished.


People do not despise a thief if he steals
 

to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,


but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
 

he will give all the goods of his house.


He who commits adultery lacks sense;
 

he who does it destroys himself.


He will get wounds and dishonor,
 

and his disgrace will not be wiped away.


For jealousy makes a man furious,
 

and he will not spare when he takes revenge.


He will accept no compensation;
 

he will refuse though you multiply gifts” 

—Proverbs 6:27-35.

The one who goes in to an adulteress will be punished. Her husband will not be pacified, and in his jealousy might seek revenge by committing physical harm, or even murder.

Adultery is serious, and the woman who finds herself straying from her home and eyeing another man should be warned! You are inviting your own destruction, as is the man whom you seduce!

Praise the Lord! Jesus paid the price for adultery as well as every other kind of sin men and women have committed. He offers forgiveness for the forbidden woman who comes to Him in deep repentance, just as He does to the man who gave in to her. His grace is sufficient. His sacrifice was worthy.

God’s forgiveness is found only for those who have godly sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:10), broken and contrite hearts (Psalm 51:17), and come to Him in repentance. And while Jesus forgives you completely, there may still well be consequences for your sin. Know that if that is so, God will give you the grace to bear up underneath it. He will give you strength to live in the freedom His death on the cross purchased.

Beloved, if you are a man, keep away from the forbidden woman and be satisfied with the wife of your youth. If you are a woman, seek to cultivate your marriage with the companion of your youth who is united to you by covenant in holy matrimony before God. The wisdom of God teaches us how we are to live and love in the most intimate of relationships, and that must not be neglected, but nourished. Seek to cultivate your marriage for the glory of God, and if you are single, wait on God to provide the man or woman He has set aside for you.

May God enable each one of us to live and love in accordance with His Word, that He may receive glory, and we may grow in joy—to the praise of His great and glorious name. Amen.