Temper Your Temper

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”—James 1:19

Do you struggle with anger? Recently, I had the opportunity to chat with an old friend struggling with anger in her life, toward God, family, and friends. She had always heard that being angry was wrong. But is it? Is anger wrong? Is it ever right? And how can we know?

Anger is a complex emotion that is powerfully felt, easy to diagnose, and hard to control. But let’s begin with the first question: is anger always wrong? Or perhaps there is a better question, is anger ever right?

The Bible is clear that we are made in God’s image and that God Himself gets angry. Frequently throughout the Old Testament we read that God’s anger “blazed hotly” (Numbers 11:10) was “kindled” (Numbers 11:1) and that His people “provoked [Him] to anger by their idols” (Deuteronomy 32:21). However, we also learn that God is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness”—Exodus 34:6. God is not capricious, which is to say that He doesn’t get angry for any apparent reason. No, God gets angry when He is sinned against, slighted, marginalized, or ignored. Moreover, He is the only one who gets perfectly angry. As God, He alone knows the true motivation of man and as our Sovereign Creator, has the full right what to expect from us. His anger is always righteous.

Our anger, on the other hand, is far less than perfect. We can get angry capriciously, for whatever reason, whether real or perceived. And our reactions can be less than righteous. But, that is not to say that all of our anger is wrong. As Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.”—Ephesians 4:26-27. The idea is that we will get angry, but we are not to sin in our anger.

How do we know if our anger is sinful? There are several questions we must ask ourselves: is our anger directed at another person without a justifiable cause? Is it an anger that seeks vengeance? Do I nurture it? Am I flying off the handle without the slightest cause? Am I cherishing a spirit of unforgiveness? If the answer is yes, then I am sinning in my anger. But if I’m angry because I want God’s name to be upheld, or am angered by a lack of justice, then my anger is justifiable and good.

Overall, anger does not produce the righteous life God desires. We should “refrain from anger” (Psalm 37:8) as much as possible, putting it away from us (Ephesians 4:31; Colossians 3:8), keeping ourselves from “fits of anger” (Galatians 5:20). We are to train ourselves to be “slow to anger” (James 1:19; Proverbs 14:29; 15:18; 16:32; 19:11; Ecclesiastes 7:9), staying away from those who are known by their anger (Proverbs 22:24; 29:22). Jesus warns us to not be angry toward our brothers and sisters in Christ because in doing so we will be liable to judgment (Matthew 5:22).

This means that we are not to let our anger rule us, or give ourselves over to it so that it controls us. We should not frequently be getting angry, or known by our anger. We are not to do evil to anyone in our anger with our words or our deeds. We must learn to control it and the reactions that come with it.

How about you? Are you a frequently angry person? Do you find yourself experiencing fits of anger? Remember, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23) and that vengeance belongs to God (Romans 12:19). We must learn to overlook an offense against us (Proverbs 19:11), and learn to forgive (Ephesians 4:32).

May the God of peace enable us to be people of peace, refraining from anger and wrath, entrusting ourselves to the Lord our God, the Judge of all the earth. Amen.