The Prison of Pride

“…and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”—Matthew 6:12

Forgiveness is a hallmark of the Christian faith. Without the forgiveness of sins, we have no access to God, no salvation, no hope. And it’s not only in the forgiveness of our sins that our relationship to God is shown, but in the forgiveness that we extend to others. When we forgive another person who has wronged us, we demonstrate that we are beneficiaries of Christ’s forgiveness. If Christ has forgiven us for the sins in our life (which are many), then what right do we have of withholding forgiveness to another? When someone has wronged or sinned against us, it may be heinous, it may be terrible, and it causes such emotion to rise up within us that we want justice. But when the person comes asking forgiveness, we want to withhold it. Why? Because we want to be the executor of justice. We want to hold on to our hate, to our sense of hurt, or to what we may feel is righteous indignation. We want to make sure that they are punished. But this is one of the greatest sins, because it is the ultimate outworking of pride.

Pride, when mixed with bitterness and hurt, wants to construct a prison for the person who committed the sin against us. When we keep them in a state of unforgiveness in our heart, we are making sure that they are placed within that mental prison. They are to stay there until justice is served, or so, at least, we think. The problem is that this prison never does confine the person who wronged us; instead, it becomes a prison of pride and we end up being its sole occupant. When Christ prayed, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,” He was making sure that we understood the principle of beneficiary forgiveness. Beneficiary forgiveness is the principle whereby we understand that we are to forgive no matter what injustice may have been done to us, because we have been forgiven of the multitudinous sins we have committed in the face of God. When we fail to offer forgiveness to others, it displays our failure to understand and appreciate what God has done for us in forgiving our own sins. In fact, unwillingness or chronic reluctance to forgive is an indicator that perhaps that person’s heart is not in fact born again. That’s a case where one should "examine yourself to see if you are in the faith" (2 Corinthians 13:5). A heart that is truly surrendered to Christ will not hold unforgiveness.

Jesus beautifully illustrated the force of this principle when He taught what is known as “The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant” in Matthew 18. The story goes that a servant owed an enormous amount of money to the king. When it came time to pay, he couldn’t do it, so the king ordered that his family be sold into slavery in order to pay the debt. The man was so grieved that he begged the king for mercy, which the king, in turn, granted. But, when this same man went out from the king’s presence, he came upon a fellow servant who owed him a very small amount of money. He confronted this fellow servant and the man begged for mercy, just as the servant had done moments before in the presence of the king. But this time, the servant granted no mercy, and demanded justice from his fellow servant for his failure to repay the debt. So, he had his fellow servant put into prison until he was able to pay it. When the king discovered what the first servant did, he was outraged and confronted him.  

“'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt”—Matthew 18:32-34.

Jesus explains the point of the parable:  

“So also My heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart"—Matthew 18:35.

If we do not forgive others when they sin against us, we receive no forgiveness from God, nor will God hear our prayers (see Psalm 66:18). The true state of forgiveness reflects our relationship with God. Failure to offer forgiveness means a failure to understand being forgiven. In other words, if we don’t offer forgiveness, then we don’t really understand what it means to be forgiven. As Jesus said,  

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses”—Matthew 6:14.

When we refuse to forgive, we are placing ourselves in a prison of pride. The only way out of this prison of pride is the key of forgiveness. The key of forgiveness frees not only our spirit, but also frees our prayers to be heard by Almighty God. Therefore, the next time we pray, let us recognize that we have been forgiven inasmuch as we offer forgiveness, so please take the time to forgive others that we might be forgiven, and our prayers may be heard. Amen.