Trusting the Ten #5: Honor Them

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.”—Exodus 20:12

This is the fifth of the Ten Commandments and the first to deal with our relationships with other people. The first four commandments deal with our relationship with God, while the fifth commandment begins our relationship with other people, exploring the very first relationship that we have on this earth—our parents. When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus responded with an answer that recognized the greatest commandment and summed up the Ten Commandments. He said,  

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets"—Matthew 22:37-40.

Our relationship with God is seen in our relationship with others, and the first relationship with others begins with our parents. We are to “honor” our parents. What does it mean to honor? “Honor” means exactly that: “honor” and “respect.” In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul equates “honor” with “obedience.” He says,  

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), ‘that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land’"—Ephesians 6:1-3.

“Honor” means that we are to respect our parents in attitude and action, especially esteeming their position by recognizing that it has been established by God. The command to “honor” has no expiration date, and we are to honor our parents at no matter what station we find ourselves in life. While “obedience” refers mainly to children who are still under parental authority or living in their parents’ home, “honor” is a lifelong pursuit from the cradle to the grave. As adults, we honor our parents by our actions and our words. We listen to their spoken and unspoken advice, and while we may not always take it, we do listen and respect them. We also are to take care of them as we are able in their old age. In Mark 7:9-13, Jesus rebukes the Pharisees who distorted the Scripture by taking their money and offering it to God while neglecting to help their aging parents. God desired that they honor Him and honor their parents, but they had hypocritically offered their money and service to God as a means of circumventing their responsibility to their parents. Paul writes that failure to honor our parents is a characteristic of those who are “depraved in mind” (Romans 1:30) and makes us “worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8).

Out of all the Ten Commandments, this is the only one that has a promised attached to it. We are promised that our “days may be long in the land that the LORD our God is giving you.” While this was given to the Jewish nation, the verse was reiterated in the New Testament in Ephesians 6. And while we as believers in Christ will not inherit the physical land of Israel, we are given the general promise of long life and God’s blessing. God will richly bless and honor those who honor their parents, for in honoring our parents we are honoring God and loving our very closest “neighbor.”

Are we giving our parents the honor that God desires that we give to them? Whether they deserve it or not, God desires that we honor and esteem them for the position that they occupy. And by doing so, we receive the blessing of God—knowing that we are doing what He delights in and receiving in return the knowledge and surety that God’s blessing will be upon us. Amen.